So much work left to do

Some days I see how far I've come. All the Ayahuaska journeys that have helped me to shatter the illusions, the fasting, juicing and raw foods that have enabled me to take long hard looks into the depths of me, the yoga asanas that have released tensions, angers and sorrows from who knows how many lifetimes.

I thought I had come so far, and in some ways I guess I have. But leave it to those living closest to you to reveal the areas that need work.

Yesterday was a day of frantic last minute preparations for the trip and a day of somber reflection on and shock at the morning's egoic tantrum. I had thought I had worked through all this pettiness. 

If nothing else it supplies me with fuel to maintain a realistic and humbler view of my current spiritual state. It also allows me to see that no matter what I involve myself in during this earth game, my spirit guides are always there loving and caring for me. I recently had the joy of raising my awareness a few levels and was able to view the holy mother and some older sisters graciously caring for me. I asked if they would come to India with me and they seemed amused by the question, as if there was any way they could be separated from me. They care not how many times I stumble, how often I throw my tantrums and how stubbornly I refuse to follow the highest path. They are filled with love just to behold my true essence. And this gives me hope enough to get up and start down the path again.